Tears
by Demigoth C. Emo
Summary: Tears are more than just water. They come out of your eyes when your depression has gone too far. They taint your skin and leave nothing but a trail of water, meaning that you cried. But sometimes, the biggest smile hides the most tears. But can you show it for just once and defeat the facade that betrayed your life?


**Tears**

**"Tears are more than just water. They come out of your eyes when your depression has gone too far. They taint your skin and leave nothing but a trail of water, meaning that you cried. But sometimes, the biggest smile hides the most tears. But can you show it for just once and defeat the facade that betrayed your life?" **

* * *

_**"Some scars… never heal.**_

_**Some tears… never dry.**_

_**Some people… never return.**_

_**Some tragedies… never end.**_

_**I'm sorry… for this world."**_

* * *

Was the day always the same? Was the day just full of antics at the day and villains at the night? Was the day starting to get old? Was there one day...that became different?

Sometimes, there is.

No one ever knew that the day would sometimes get different beneath the earthly realm. It was true, though. For a human's life, it is different for the young and the old. The young would get up early, eat their breakfast, head their way to school, study from morning to afternoon, go home, do their homework, eat dinner and sleep to start the cycle again. For the old, they would wake up earlier than the young, eat breakfast, work for long hours (sometimes overtime), go home, eat dinner and sleep to start the cycle again. It was like the universe repeated all over again.

Did the universe ever change?

No. But beneath the earthly realm or under the roads of the city, a shadow being known as a ninja's day would get older than the beings above the shadows. But if you are talking about teenage mutant ninja turtles, the universe does change. They do the same routine but the antics and the villains become different.

Sometimes, a ninja's life is just the same.

Every morning, they would wake up, eat breakfast, train, eat lunch, do their own stuff, eat dinner, go topside, sleep and wake up to start the day again. But for a teenage mutant ninja turtle's life, the routine is the same but the night (and sometimes the day) keeps getting different. New monsters would pop out somewhere, and it is their job to protect New York with all their life.

But for Hamato Michelangelo, the day would just get old.

Sometimes, he would wish for a mighty eagle to scoop him up from the shadows and bring him to the land where sunshine exist and where people accept him for who he was. No sadness, no tears, no depression...just happiness and smiles around. But now, the people were just cruel to beings like him so he had no choice but to defend himself in the best he can.

He was known as the clown of the family, the one who turns people's frowns upside down. His family, of course, loved him like this since he was the youngest. But sometimes, he would get sick of being happy. Rather, the pain he got since childhood came back in his head. He wants to show his real emotions and give up being just a puppet, a toy that other people's fate and decisions control. He wanted to defeat his controlled fate and live the dream he always wanted: he and his family, accepted by everyone around him. But with people facing reality now, he just wished that he was just an illusion.

He can remember it all.

* * *

_"You think I would be a friend with a freak like you? Screw that."Chris Bradford said. _

_Michelangelo wanted the tears to fall, he always wanted at least one tear to fall from his face. But no. The mask he wore can never fall off. It can fall off when the mask wants to. But he wanted it to fall now. Unfortunately, the mask he wore doesn't want to come off._

_He wanted to die in vain so he can finally enter to a world where everyone would accept him: Heaven. He wants to be free in the meadows, run on the hills, enjoy the cool water, and just...be truly happy in this free world._

_Unfortunately for him, the world he's stuck in...no...he doesn't want this world. Whenever he acted like the clown, it makes other people happy. But him? No. He wasn't happy that way. He rather give up being Hamato Michelangelo or The Clown and just be Mikey, an ordinary turtle that is normal like all the others and is free in any way he wants._

_Sometimes, he would ask himself, "Why is the world cruel?"_

_Instead of defeating his fate, he needs to live with it. He really wants to defeat his controlled fate and have fun in the world where sadness died a long time ago. But why can't he show it now? He wants to. But the mask refuses. _

_Someday, he would force himself to remove the mask and show to everyone who he really is inside. But the mask is very powerful and no matter how many times you would try to get it off, the mask will fight back._

_Just someday...he will control himself at anytime._

_In the part where his real side reveals, a tear fell out._

* * *

_"Leatherhead, no!"_

_It was the worst day Mikey had experienced, one that made half his true self show, one that broke his heart: Leatherhead sacrificed himself to go to Dimension X, the home world of the Kraang. Even though they found out that it is April they are really after and their depression appeared, Michelangelo's was much worse. The pain was just too unbearable._

_The tears tried to escape, but the mask just won't let it. He wanted to cry out loud and sob that Leatherhead, his one true friend, disappeared, but the mask just forced him to smile._

_He always thought the mask is evil._

_It was true, though. The mask that refused to let go, was very naïve. It showed no emotion nor pain; just happiness. But if you take it off, it would show real emotion. He wanted that to happen. But no matter how may times he removed it, the others thought of him as very naïve. _

_The truth is, it was all lie._

* * *

"I look tired, don't I?"

The sound of his voice lead to a corner of the kitchen. It was soft, but anyone in the room next to the kitchen can hear it. Thankfully, he let April stay in his room and let himself sleep in the living room until it was all over.

The figure leaned on the refrigerator door, holding a small glass of grape wine. That's one point of who he really is. No matter how many times he got himself drunk ever since Leatherhead's disappearance, the mask had a force field around him where he can never get drunk. The result was just the same.

Mikey looked at the half glass of grape wine.

"When will the tears finally let go? Never. I hated this mask from the beginning. This is not me. Why can't it go off?"

Then, the glass of grape wine spilled on the floor. The glass just rolled around, stopping when it reached to the door of the oven. He wouldn't ever dare clean up the "mess" he made.

Getting up, he looked at the mask on the couch. It was true, though. He would take off his precious bandanna to think of all he has been through.

His eyes started to open more as he heard the loud snores from his brothers. Mostly, he can hear it from his brother Donatello, who slept in his lab after creating another one of his invention. If the mask would fall off, he would think that though Donnie has become his older brother, his inventions were nothing more than just toys. With the mask or without it, he could accept him.

Slipping out of the kitchen, he looked at his dear brother, sleeping on his table, drooling again. Sometimes, he needs to learn to let go of things and think a bit less.

Moving out, he took his bandanna, the bottle of the grape wine his real personality appreciates, a new glass and set off to the surface, a place where he can think of his life.

* * *

Holding the glass with both hands, he looked at the half-moon, his favorite. The half-moon would show his personality, the one where the others can never see. Sometimes, he would compare the half-moon with himself. In a way, it made him very happy to think off it.

Nevertheless, he always hated mornings. The sun would show the fake personality and everyone would be always happy. But isn't it all just a lie?

Possibly.

_The silence keeps it easy  
Keeps you safe for the moment.  
As you're walking away  
Your footsteps get louder._

_All you needed was time  
But now time will destroy us  
It will all be over, and here we are  
We're stuck inside this salted earth together._

_You'll pierce my lungs  
My limbs go numb  
As my colors fade out._

He listened to the sorrowful melody of the song. He started to feel the tears coming out, but the mask tried to push it back. But Michelangelo believed it. He tried to force the tears to tell everyone who he is: a feeble being who has only one wish: for everyone to accept him for who he is.

But is that even possible?

_You watch me bleed.  
You watch me bleed._

He closed his eyes, remembering the bonds he had. First with his "friend" and with his one true friend: a being who shares the same fate with him. But all faded away all of a sudden. Now, he came back to being lonely, but his mask was still happy. Sure, it was sad for a while but the real him is still sad. He could feel the tears emerge out. But the mask used all his might to prevent it. But he wanted to cry...even just for one last time.

_I gave you everything to die with a smile  
All you wanted was to live for a while  
You took everything but it left you empty  
You can't replace me, you can't._

That's what the mask said. But Mikey didn't give up. The tears almost fell and the mask grew weaker. He just needed to believe it.

_It's almost over, and here we are  
We're stuck inside this salted earth together._

_You'll pierce my lungs  
My limbs go numb  
As my colors fade out_

It was almost there. He can feel it. The mask grew weaker, letting the real him achieve victory. Michelangelo held the glass harder, finding himself shaking.

_You watch me bleed.  
You watch me bleed._

"Come on, win this. I want this mask off now."He mumbled. More of the memories with his precious friend came on, making the tears trying to escape. He could finally feel it in his eyes.

_It will all be over, and here we are  
We'll die inside this salted earth together._

_You'll pierce my lungs  
My limbs go numb  
As my colors fade out_

_You watch me bleed._

Finally, some of the tears escaped. Michelangelo took his bandanna off and smiled as the tears went on. The mask lost and his real personality won. More tears came out, landing on his legs. Soon, the glass soon fell.

Then, he found himself falling, the tears flying at the sky.

_You watched me bleed_

"Nii-nii, yurushite. It's time. I'll finally get what I want for. I just wished for once, you could have seen the real me. But now, I did it. I'll see you in Heaven. I hope one day...just one day...you will find out who I am."

_You watch me bleed._

He opened his eyes, feeling grass.

He smiled. He finally got his wish.

_You watch me bleed._

Many years later, his brothers and father died together.

They slowly opened his eyes, finding the young Michelangelo, smiling. No bandanna...nor that facade. It was just him. The real him.

He reached out his hand in front of everyone. His family held it out and ran in the fields, playing.

He no longer can see the facade anymore.

_Watch me bleed._

* * *

**"Nii-nii, yurushite"- "Nii-nii, forgive me."**

**I know this might be a crack fic or you might not understand it but I just felt like it. When I watched the video on YouTube called "Higurashi OP reverse" on Satoko's part, you can hear the words "Nii-nii, yurushite" and "Nigaeranai" or "You cannot escape".**

**The song was "Watch Me Bleed" by Scaring Kids Scaring Kids. A suggested video on YouTube is "TMNT/MLP/POM/The Lion King Watch Me bleed". It's really beautiful.**


End file.
